Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She told me I should be a condom model.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
