He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
