And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
