After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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