I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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