About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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