So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
