You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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