it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
