Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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