U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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