Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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