where am i from again
im six kinds of drunk right now
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
