The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
