i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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