There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
