Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
