I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Rumble strips road head = magical
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
