I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
