Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
