just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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