his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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