I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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