Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
