Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
