It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
