another moral hangover. fuck.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm like, not good at living.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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