There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
