Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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