Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize