one word: firstdatebathroomanal
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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