it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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