If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
