That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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