Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
