you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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