I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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