Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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