mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
