I swear god or herbie drove my car home
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
