His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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