yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
