so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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