I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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