Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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