Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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