I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
