you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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