just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
