eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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