why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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