Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
