we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
