I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize