I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
