SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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